


Gravity and Silence

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone around them noticed that something had shifted between the two of them, but no one mentioned it and they never told anybody. They never even discussed it with each other. Putting it to words would mean restricting the relationship with language, and neither of them felt the need for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gravity and Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LenaMania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaMania/gifts).



> Pure fiction. I don't own these characters, and I do not know or claim to know any one portrayed here. This is just a figment of my imagination, albeit admittedly, I wish it were more than just imagination. I respect both Bradley James and Colin Morgan very much, and do not intend to cause any offence to anybody. 
> 
> This is definitely not my best work, but it took me ages to get down to it, and I hope you guys can sit through it without getting bored.
> 
> A special thank you to my SHC5 women, for tolerating all my ranting about Brolin. And also to LenaMania, the only soul in the world who knows I write fanfiction.

Colin was like gravity. From the first moment Bradley had set his eyes on him, he felt inexplicably drawn to him - physically, mentally and emotionally - and he couldn’t pull away. Colin was a force he could not bring himself to oppose - even when he didn’t understand his accent in the beginning, even when his sense of humour left Bradley feeling like someone had just scooped away the icing on his slice of cake. He couldn’t help himself looking at him for just that one breath longer, keeping his hand on his shoulder for that one moment more, wanting to hold on for just a second longer during those rare occasions when they hugged.

Bradley was silence. At their first meeting, Colin’s stomach had dropped slightly when his eyes rested on the man that would be the Arthur to his Merlin, the man he knew, somehow, without ever having spoken to him before, would become very important to him. He knew this because the moment he had stepped into the room and made eye contact with Bradley, everything else became noise. He wanted everyone out, he wanted nothing more than to be alone with this beautiful blonde man in the silence. The weight of this realisation made him stagger a little when he stretched a hand to shake Bradley’s as Julian introduced them. He was nervous to the pit of his stomach and his accent came out even more thick than he intended to. He noticed Bradley’s eyes slightly clouding in confusion when he spoke, but he also noticed that Bradley’s fingers lingered on his palm as he withdrew his hand.

Within a matter of weeks, Colin and Bradley had developed a language of their own - a system of communication that didn’t need planning, discussion, or words. There were, of course, a million things they didn’t know about each other, but that was secondary. Bradley knew when Colin was cold and would show up on his set, even if he wasn’t filming that day, with an extra pair of woollen gloves. Colin knew when Bradley was tired after a hard day’s work swinging his sword and would make his excuses for him to Katie and Angel and get Bradley out of make-up and back to the hotel so he could get a good eight hours before his early call in the morning. On days when Bradley knew Colin had a particularly emotional scene lined up, he’d show up to his hotel room door the night before with a jar of peanut butter (crunchy, to save the essence of peanuts) and his laptop to show Colin hilarious videos of cats he’d found online. And when Bradley was happy and excited, Colin was indulgent - letting Bradley grab him in a headlock even though he had a lot of personal space issues, or getting out of bed and helping Bradley film whatever ridiculous thing he thought would get the fans interested, and it was all worth it, because Bradley _lit up_ , delighted that Colin was with him, whatever he was doing.

 

* * *

 

It was during the filming of season two that it happened. They were filming the scene with the fight between Arthur and Uther, and just preparing for the scene had Bradley skip his meals for two days in a row. This was a big deal to him - to have to overcome the screen presence of Antony Head with his performance, and it was draining Bradley. On the day of the shoot, he was sitting on the floor of the throne room against a pillar, and Colin was leaning on the other side. Standing up when he was called to take position, Bradley moved to walk past Colin, when he felt a hand snake up his shoulder. He turned and found Colin returning his gaze intently. Bradley couldn’t turn away, or even blink. Colin gripped his shoulder hard, for one long moment, and then nodding, let go. Bradley stood looking at him for another second, minute... an hour, for all he knew, before slightly inclining his head and moving to take his position.

That night, Bradley couldn’t sleep. He knocked on the connecting door between his and Colin’s room and found the door opening before he could knock a second time.

‘You’re not...?’

‘No,’ Colin replied, and stood back to let Bradley in.

Bradley walked into Colin’s room and realised he didn’t have anything to say or do. He went and sat on the edge of Colin’s bed, placed his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands and stayed like that. After a couple of minutes, he felt gentle hands pry his own hands away from his face. He looked up as Colin gently ran a hand through Bradley’s hair, and then sank down to his knees in front of him, so they were at the same level. He kept rubbing circles on the nape of Bradley’s neck, and then pulled him into a hug. Bradley felt the air go out of his lungs as he sunk into Colin’s arms, his head buried on his shoulder. His hands came up to meet behind Colin’s back, and he pulled him close, holding on.

After a long while, Colin pulled back and climbed on the bed beside Bradley. He gestured to the pillows, inclining his head slightly to the left, his mouth curving in a half smile. Bradley kneeled to take off his shoes, and then lay back against the pillows. Colin moved next to him, leaning over him to get the light switch, and then lay next to him, his arms finding a way around Bradley’s torso to rest his fingers on his neck, against his hair.

‘You need to sleep’, he murmured, as he stroked Bradley’s neck slightly, and he found himself slowly drifting into sleep.

Bradley woke up to Colin’s alarm the next morning, and turned it off as he felt Colin stirring in his arms. _In his arms_. He looked down at Colin, slightly bewildered by this epiphany and found Colin looking up at him from where his head was resting on Bradley’s chest.

‘I haven’t slept that well in ages,’ Colin said, with a slight smile.

Bradley felt his face break into a stupid grin. He kept his eyes on Colin, trying to understand what had just happened. Since when do two guys fall asleep in each others arms, fully clothed and pretend like it was absolutely normal in the morning? _Except_ , Bradley thought to himself, _I’m not pretending, am I? This does feel normal_. He let out a breath and simultaneously felt Colin’s body relax against his.

‘We should probably get going now’, Bradley said after a while, moving his arm so as to free Colin. As Colin sat up on the bed, Bradley moved out of it in a single movement, picked up his shoes from the floor and made to walk towards his room, when he stopped suddenly and turned back. He walked back to the bed and leaned down to grasp Colin’s hand. He smiled tightly at Colin as he pressed his hand into his, and then let go, walking back to his room.

* * *

 

Everyone around them noticed that something had shifted between the two of them, but no one mentioned it and they never told anybody. They never even discussed it with each other. Putting it to words would mean restricting the relationship with language, and neither of them felt the need for that. But Bradley knew it meant something when his eyes met Colin’s even as they filmed on opposite sides of the courtyard, it meant something when Colin trusted him to answer questions for both of them at interviews, when Colin tasted fried ice-cream just because Bradley had helped make it on a show even though he was lactose-intolerant, when they sat next to each other and their knees brushed together, or their elbows pressed up against each other. It was comfort, reassurance, trust, respect and love all woven into one. And Colin - Colin felt fulfilled every time he made Bradley laugh, each time his smile reached his eyes, and Bradley looked _ungodly_ as he threw his head back and laughed, his shoulders shaking with the movement - to Colin, Bradley _glowed_ in these moments, he was made of pure sunshine, and Colin had to force himself to look away so as not to kiss him right there on national - _international_ \- television.

One day, some time during the filming of the fourth season, Bradley watched _Parked_. Colin had talked to him at length about the project and how much weight he’d have to lose but despite that, it was so much more shocking than what Bradley expected. Colin knew that Bradley was watching it, so when he thought it was over, he walked into Bradley’s room. He found Bradley sitting on his couch, his lips pursed thoughtfully, staring at the remote in his hand. He looked up when Colin entered and his mouth fell open as if he had something to say. After a couple of seconds, Bradley took in a deep breath and said, ‘Were you hurt?’

‘What -?’

‘During filming. When they beat Cathal. Were you hurt?’

‘It’s acting, Bradley - you hit me on set all the time... it was -’

‘Were you hurt?’ Bradley asked again, determinedly.

‘No.’

‘Okay. Good. Okay.’

Bradley stood up and paced about the room, not looking at Colin. Colin didn’t move. He knew Bradley was worked up, and would find a way to release his tension soon enough.

‘I don’t hurt you.’  

‘Bradley - I didn’t mean you -’ 

‘No. Hear me out. I don’t hurt you. When I hit you - I know how far I can go, I know when to stop. Those guys in there, even if they were actors, Colin - they don’t _know_. They don’t know you. It doesn’t have to be this film. You’ll be on loads of projects later - what if they don’t know? What if someone hurts you, even if it is acting? Look at you! You lost so much weight for this film - and I _loathe_ it - I hate that you have to do this to yourself for something - someone - else, and I know - I _know_ \- it’s your fucking job, alright? I’m an actor too, I get it, but that doesn’t mean I like it, and I don’t trust anybody else to look after you. It’s stupid and silly and _god it’s infuriating_ \- but the idea of you getting hurt is just - I can’t even...’ Bradley raised his hands in the air in his desperation. He turned his back on Colin and set his palms down on the cool marble shelf next to the fridge, breathing heavily.

‘Bradley,’ Colin said softly. ‘Hey. I - come here.’

Colin walked up to where Bradley was standing, and placed his hand on Bradley’s shoulder. His hands snaked around Bradley’s waist to meet around his middle as he pulled him close into his chest, and rested his face against the back of Bradley’s neck. Bradley raised a hand and clasped it over Colin’s. They stayed like that for a moment, Bradley’s back pressed to Colin’s chest, holding on as if their lives depended on it, yet the level of comfort betrayed that this was not something they were strangers to. Colin sighed into Bradley’s neck, nuzzling his nose in his hair as Bradley softly stroked his thumb along Colin’s wrist.

‘What are we going to do?’ Bradley whispered, turning his head slightly, breathing Colin in.

Colin shook his head. ‘I don’t know,’ he whispered back, parking his chin on Bradley’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, Bradley.’

Bradley nodded his head in a slight movement. ‘It - you - were brilliant. Honestly.’

Colin smiled into Bradley’s neck as Bradley twisted around to face him. Colin met Bradley’s mouth with his own, softly at first but Bradley wasn’t having any of that. He claimed Colin’s mouth hungrily, as if he’d never get another chance to kiss him again. Colin held on to Bradley as they moved across the room and fell onto the bed, kissing and sighing and groaning and holding each other.

Hours later, Colin stirred in Bradley’s arms. He looked over at him - at that beautiful face, his slightly crooked nose, the plush mouth and that glorious bump on his neck that was the Adam’s apple. He brushed his fingers slightly across Bradley’s forehead - not wanting to wake him up, yet having this urge, this need to tell him and for him to understand. After a few moments, Bradley lazily opened his eyes and looked at Colin. He smiled to see Colin looking up at him.

‘Bradley,’ Colin whispered.

‘Yeah, Col?’

‘I just wanted to tell you...’

Bradley opened his eyes wider and looked searchingly at Colin.

‘I wanted to tell you that I’m not weak and I don’t get hurt easily. But I want you to take care of me anyway.’ Colin closed his eyes with the last word.

‘Yes,’ Bradley replied, letting go of Colin to free his hand to switch off the light. ‘Someone has to, Morgan,’ and he pulled Colin close into him as they both drifted off to sleep.

 

 

* * *


End file.
